This is the outcry of some of my counsellees, some of them are virgins, some are not. All of them want marriage-bound relationships but the men want sex. Some even threaten to end the relationship if the lady refuses to let them “taste” before marriage!

Some of the ladies were confused, some were desperate, some were thinking of giving in to keep the relationship as age is no longer on their side! Some even wonder whether there are still godly men who won’t ask for sex before marriage!

Godly men who don’t ask for sex exist but they never ask you out while you keep attracting the wrong kind of men for the following reasons:

1. YOU ATTRACT YOUR KIND: Eagles attract eagles, elephants are attracted to elephants, dogs to dogs, pig to pigs! It’s not about tying scarf and looking religious, it’s about the kind of spirit in you! If there is lust and immorality in your spirit, you will always be a magnet to men who want to have sex with you and dump you neat! Deal with your thoughts. Sanctify your spirit with the word daily!

2. YOU ARE NOT A SERIOUS PERSON: Serious people set their priorities right! You pursue God, then your vision/ career and then relationships. If all you think morning, noon and night is about how to have boyfriend and get married and nothing whatsoever to contribute to humanity, you are not a serious person and only irresponsible men will chase you!

3. YOU ARE DESPERATE: Once you become desperate for marriage, you lose the capacity to pick right. All manner of irresponsible men find their way to you. Learn to relax while praying for a godly husband. Desperation turns good men off!



When you wear a jumping gown, micro-mini skirt, tubes, see through clothes and very tight trousers, you are indirectly asking for sex and men will pressurize you for sex. Dress decently if you want a decent man to marry you.

5. YOU SPEND THE NIGHT IN A MAN’S HOUSE: Of course he will ask for sex. To a man, passing the night under his roof means you want sex, no more no less!

6. SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS: Ladies with serious spiritual problems always attract the wrong men no matter what they do! Declare war on every stronghold of marital delay, generational curses and covenants, soul tie and spiritual spouse! Until you deal with these spiritual problems, you will never find a good man to marry!

These and more are the reasons you are attracting users! Work on these areas seriously if you want to get married to a great man. No man with a bright future wants a lady who is going nowhere to happen.

Every man wants an asset, not a liability. Godly men want godly women, pure men want pure women in and out. Virgin men want virgin women. Chaste men want chaste women.

What kind of man do you want? Be that kind of person and you will attract your kind. Feel free to share. God bless you. Cheers!


credit Seun Oladele


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